This is a quickie revisiting this post I made about how there is an entire contingent of women who find loyalty and stability sexy. There seems to be a distinct inability in some men to accept this as a concept. However, it’s not at all true that women as a class find marriage-worthy men less sexy. Modern women do. I don’t mean modern in the sense of “uses technology” but rather “completely operates under an essentially individualistic, self-focused, Enlightenment-derived mindset”.
This type of woman is obviously relatively common and due to fitting into narratives of modern mores being successfully propagated, appears to be presented as Ur-woman. However, I think that the existence of feudally inclined women (i.e., women with a pre-modern view of life and love) is wildly underestimated on all sides. In my own referenced post, I used the terms “peasant woman” and “aristocrat woman”, but one can just combine those into “feudal woman” and come out the same.
I am a feudal woman and I have even found many feudal women among bohemian folks in my years on this earth. It is similar to the way that many right-wing people can have a liberally oriented mindset and some left-wing people can have a conservative mindset. Feudal affinity in women is simply ordering one’s life according to a more feudal notion of life, love, community and romantic attachments despite the ways in which modernity works against such views.
Even in a world of dazzling wealth and extreme pressure to be self-focused, there are women who order their lives around devotion to community, ethny, kin and nation and expect the men they are attracted to to do the same. And find themselves not attracted to men who don’t show some signs of this collective orientation and lack of individualism. Basically, just as a pretty goodly fraction of men do not find women of highly negotiable virtue appealing, there seem, if one is viewing the world as it is, to be quite a goodly number of women who aren’t into the cad thing and do not find them appealing.
Women with a peasant’s (or aristocrat’s if they come from that background) mentality find PUAs and most of the “game” playbook unsexy because it represents disloyalty and “feral” instability. Women who find loyalty and devotion to kin attractive don’t find a steady guy who takes his commitments to family and friends seriously to be unattractive. They marry those guys and it’s not settling because it’s precisely what they want in a man. And they tend to marry those guys before 30 (even in UMCland).
What I am wondering, though, is how common is that mentality among women these days? It seems like women up and down the class ladder don’t want to marry. The “white picket fence” perfection requirement is a sign that they aren’t really interested. There is something to the idea that some women are too prideful to marry. At least with some Christian women, they think they have to give up everything they think of as agency to marry even though they can usually see this isn’t true among the married women near them.
And I’ve come over the years to understand that some women don’t find loyalty in men unsexy– they find it threatening, as if his loyalty is a commentary on their life and moral fiber. So the idea that modern women are “feral” and “chasing tingles” misses a lot of the reasons why women aren’t marrying, particularly Christian women.
I refer to peasant (or very far up the class tree, aristocrat) mentality because a woman with that mindset doesn’t have a self-image that focuses on self-as-individual. She defines herself in terms of her own kin and ethny and patrimony (where such exists). She might join with another people through outmarriage to someone from another ethny, but she doesn’t think of the choice in individualist terms. So unlike the meme that has infiltrated all the way into the mainstream right-wing of conservativeland, peasant women aren’t thrilled by violence with no point, by men with no loyalties and attachments beyond the next moment, by unstable sterility marketing itself as dangerous. Such women don’t like danger, they find devotion and demonstrations of loyalty to the right things (church, family, friends) to be what they want in a man. They might well be blind to some men, but these are the women who are blind to feral men.
This is repurposed from a starter comment about some other stuff entirely and was inspired further by yet another manosphere blog post about the ferality of women as though it was in fact purely natural and not an artifact of prosperity. I question that because it simply doesn’t make sense or match up with observed reality.
But then again, how many women are ok with hearing they have a peasant mentality? It’s not all good. Such a high level of risk aversion can sometimes make it hard to seize opportunities when they appear. Still, I do wonder if it doesn’t still represent a substantial minority of women. One can hope.
This is one of those little curiosities that seem like nothing much but reveal some unsettling things about where people feel they have to go to find pieces of normal life, however confused, distorted and (sometimes wildly) inaccurate.
The manosphere is full of black women who are conventionally attractive. They are probably around their representation in the general American population (so about 3%, as they can’t all be pretty). They are noticeably more attractive on average than the white women who make up the majority of women hanging around in the manosphere, but this is of course selection bias.
I had wondered WHY MY GOODNESS WHYYYYYYY and then I understood.
Black women can’t be conservative politically and interested in non-dowdy expressions of femininity. They can pick one, but not both. Conservatives want their black women dowdy and unfashionable and everyone else wants them politically and socially liberal. Except in the silly old manosphere. There a black woman can fight the dowdy within and also be politically conservative. And this is exactly what you see. You see a bunch of black women who like being feminine and frilly and soft, but who are politically and socially conservative.
We gotta find a new place for these dames to hang out, stat.
Regular conservatives could help out by just not flipping out about black women wanting to look some way other than dowdy or granola-crunchy.