In the wake of this epic 1996-level wild thread/discussion about marriage difficulty for young Christian men and women these days, the male blogger Deep Strength posted a long rambling thing about “feminine beauty” that made me realize a key part of where some men are talking past some women in these matters.
A scale is not a switch. When some men use the classic 10 point scale for looks/beauty/attractiveness, they aren’t using it as a scale, but as a switch. On/off. Yes/No (to the question of whether they might, in the abstract, desire to know a woman in the Biblical sense). That is why Deep Strength thinks the young woman in his post went from a “3” to an “8” when she didn’t budge much in the scale sense. She wasn’t a 3 or an 8 to start with. She was an average girl who now looks above average because she puts more effort into her dress and carriage and lost weight via exercise and diet. On a ten point scale she went from 5 to 6.
But this blogger converted “went from girl I would never think of desiring to girl I might have desirous thoughts of right now” into ten point scale language. “From a 3 to an 8!”
This is, needless to say, confusing. He could have simply used a switch and reduced confusion dramatically.
This explains the obsession with “becoming an 8”, or “so and so is an 8 for sure!” by some men discussing love, sex and marriage. 8 is the switch.
He may be too young to remember Hot or Not. That is all he needs, and all anyone needs who insists on limiting female beauty to a switch.
Related to this, Deep Strength’s post concludes that young Christian women should wear the clothing the young woman (pictured in his example towards the end of his very long post) wears at 124 pounds to show that they’d like to be considered marriage-worthy by men around them.