In my teenaged youth, I wanted to be married around 17-18 to a thirtysomething older, financially established man. A major reason was that I thought that was what it would take to be allowed the time and space to be a working artist.
While the wanting to be married to a guy twice my age was a bit silly, the underlying reason was reasonable. I’ve never viewed myself having marriage and motherhood without also being a working artist. The three always just went together in my head, and I married a guy who can recognize that this isn’t an unreasonable view or expectation for a married mother to have. I just managed to find an established older guy who wasn’t twice my age.
Unfortunately, while my husband recognizes this, I can’t say the same about society. Though it’s always been a struggle for women to have all three, things have worsened, almost counterintuitively as women have gotten more overt financial power.