The Lazy, stupid, evil–pick two phenomenon

This is where someone looks around at everyone behaving a certain way or doing certain things and decides that they’re two of lazy, stupid or evil.

Common examples are the way liberals tend to assume this of any conservative policy or the way that conservatives tend to assume this of SAHMs with dirty houses and/or kids.

There’s not really a political divide here, it’s common across the political spectrum.  It’s just a recurring tendency that people slip into.

I guess you could also call it Chesterton’s busted fence.

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15 thoughts on “The Lazy, stupid, evil–pick two phenomenon

      • When people make assumptions like this, it’s not a surprise why people limit their family size.

        A former coworker of mine told me his wife worked part time and home schooled the kids. He had 2 at the time, and they shared one vehicle. The groceries didn’t get done until the weekend. He said people would say “why doesn’t your wife just walk to the store if it’s so close yada yada yada.” Sure, the store is a “close” 1 mile, but feels like 10 when you’re trying to walk there with two kids under 7.

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        • There are some that would say if it feel like 10 that must be because your kids aren’t disciplined. I am seeing that kind of thinking a lot too. If you mention any sort of stress of being a stay at home mom, that because your kids are undisciplined rugrats. Were you a better parent, staying at home would be an easy breeze. Oh and don’t forget men working in the world is soooooooooo much harder.
          Of course the rational person gets that even well behaved kids can still be tiring.

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        • “When people make assumptions like this, it’s not a surprise why people limit their family size.”

          Right.

          “A former coworker of mine told me his wife worked part time and home schooled the kids. He had 2 at the time, and they shared one vehicle. The groceries didn’t get done until the weekend. He said people would say “why doesn’t your wife just walk to the store if it’s so close yada yada yada.” Sure, the store is a “close” 1 mile, but feels like 10 when you’re trying to walk there with two kids under 7.”

          …and then pushing the groceries on the way back.

          Lord knows grocery shopping with children is dicey enough with a car.

          Plus, if she’s supposed to be homeschooling the kids, that’s a huge chunk taken out of the school day.

          And, in any case, there’s no way she could haul a whole week’s worth of groceries home on foot a mile, even by herself. You might as well wait for the weekend and just do one big trip.

          Basically, the suggestion is a whole pinata of dumb.

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        • I can kind of imagine doing that once–but it’s not the sort of thing you’d do 52 times a year, unless it was a life-and-death necessity.

          I used to take a grocery wagon and haul groceries home about nine blocks but a) it was a safe walk and b) I don’t think I ever did it with kids and c) it wasn’t a full week’s groceries. I’ve taken a kid and used a stroller for grocery shopping but (again) it wasn’t a full week’s groceries, and the route was safe and pedestrian-friendly.

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          • The route has to be safe for pedestrians. It doesn’t matter how well-behaved the kids are. There are a lot of stupid and crazy drivers who don’t care if the walk signal is on and there are people crossing the street. I’ve heard of a mom and her 4 kids getting hit by a car before, and a mom and 2 kids getting hit by a car because America is not walkable.

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            • Maea said:

              “The route has to be safe for pedestrians. It doesn’t matter how well-behaved the kids are. There are a lot of stupid and crazy drivers who don’t care if the walk signal is on and there are people crossing the street. I’ve heard of a mom and her 4 kids getting hit by a car before, and a mom and 2 kids getting hit by a car because America is not walkable.”

              Come to think of it, exactly that thing happened to me and my two oldest (except only one of us got hit and the younger kid just had the truck brush by him) while crossing a street in a crosswalk. It was only sheer luck that I didn’t also have the toddler in a stroller with us at the time.

              Furthermore, as I was thinking about this, I was realizing that once a cart is fully loaded, it requires two hands to move it, especially when maneuvering up and down curbs–so there aren’t any hands available for holding onto children.

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    • A kind of typical one is “why doesn’t such and such mom with kids just walk to the library?” when the library is two miles away along the wrong side of a major highway. The mom’s not stupid or lazy or evil for getting in the car, but she’s considered to be anyway. Which is bad.

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      • Or, why doesn’t she just go to the library–when it would be a huge pain keeping track of two little kids in the stacks, or one of the kids would definitely shred a library book or two and incur a huge fine, totally negating the positive economic effect of “free” library books. Buying books is cheaper than replacing library books.

        (I don’t trust any child under 4 around library books, and even 4 can be iffy.)

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  1. I think I’ve got one.

    A while back, Athol Kay had a letter from a husband who was convinced that his wife was “s*** testing” him because although it was her job to take the trash and litter box out, instead of taking it all the way out to the trash, she was leaving it at the back door and forgetting it there. Coincidentally, they have a 2-year-old.

    I think Athol Kay is generally a pretty smart guy, but even Homer nods.

    It didn’t even cross either of those two guys’ minds to wonder–is it even possible for this woman to safely, neatly and hygienically take out the trash or litter while simultaneously caring for the 2-year-old?

    Things start getting really sticky in terms of safety logistics around that age. I know when my youngest was that age, she had learned how to vault over baby gates, so if I were by myself, she literally could not be secured except by either locking her in her room with the child door knob cover on the inside or buckling her into her car seat (and the latter might take some time to do). Also, even when Baby Girl is safely secured, there’d still be hygienic issues with regard to simultaneously carrying the trash without setting it down and then getting it into the outdoor trash–in fact, it would be literally impossible to get the kitchen trash into the outdoor trash without getting both hands dirty, and then (ideally) I’d need to come back with disinfectant wipes and touch any door handles I’d touched with dirty hands. That sounds a little OCD, but what are you going to do? I’ve only got two hands. Oh, and meanwhile the door has been open for a solid 2 minutes.

    Forget doing all of that one-handed while holding a 2-year-old by the hand the whole time.

    And that, boys and girls, is probably why taking trash out is often traditionally a dad job (i.e. one performed when both mom and dad are home)–because somebody needs to keep small children or critters from running into the street while dad has the house door open. In fact, at my house, my husband often carries out the trash, with a big kid deputized to open and close the door for him. It’s a little more labor-intensive, but it’s safer, cleaner and faster.

    So, yeah–before pointing fingers, it makes sense to ask, “Does this thing that I want this woman to do make any sort of logistical sense at all?”

    Red Pill guys are going to be the absolute worst at this, because their go-to explanation for all female behavior is that women are testing them.

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  2. Here is a good example

    Lori posted this photo of a run down house and made the assumption someone “slothful” and “void of understanding” lives there. Of course she has absolutely know idea the circumstances of whoever lives there. Maybe sick or disabled or maybe its just vacant, but hey it makes good blog material to go around taking pictures of peoples houses to mock them.

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    • The thing about the Titus 2 blogger types is that they seem to lack compassion for women. So a rundown house or whatever other difficult situation is just an opportunity to mock and criticize under the guise of teaching other women to do better. And of course no actual help will be given.

      I wonder if Lori even bothered to pray for the person she’s using as an example. If that rundown home is near her church maybe she could bring it to their attention and get the owner some help. My church sends volunteers out to help elderly, disabled or poor people maintain their homes.

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  3. Sorry, meant to say “no” not “know”.
    On the topic of libraries…I’ve always wondered why they don’t have a separate wing with closed doors for the kid area so that the rest of the library can remain quiet for others. The library I had growing up was like this but I have never seen another one at all similar. I would like to go more often but it is more stressful than its worth with trying to keep kids quiet. I find most people go there though now for internet access than they do for books.

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