Many conservatives talk a good game about submission, authority and hierarchy, but they don’t want to deal with having to live it. Thus “submitting” solely to your husband is enough and suddenly you have no bothersome obligations, responsibilities or duties to anyone else, including your own children. This extremely common position on wifely submission is frankly little better than the modern feminist position that any submission (except to employers of course) is oppressive and not to be borne by women. It’s just a peculiar inversion of the Austerian unprincipled exception. There is a clinging to individualism and patriocentricity that is quite telling. The response to the idea that both husband and wife have obligations to submit to others under real patriarchy is generally to declare that this is a secret plot to have the wife determine who those authorities are by simply noting they exist.
This is essentially American, the usual individualism problem and inability of individuals to either be in or see themselves as part of an organic whole that is the village, so to speak. I find all the talk in many Christian organs about submission to be a little weird, because it’s always so separated from the totality of life. It’s just some husband-wife deal, which is just one little piece of the big Christian puzzle for a married Christian couple. I mean sure, I submit to my husband as the head of our household, but it’s not something that I have to think about consciously, because it is natural and normal to submit to proper authorities, of which my husband is one of several that I have in my life. And my husband doesn’t have dude-angst over submission to the authorities he is under in his life (mostly but not entirely the same ones that I have, for obvious reasons). We don’t live in a perfect Biblical village with Divine Hierarchy perfectly applied, but we reflexively respond to what is there in the normal, historically typical ways.