Most women don’t like bad boys.

I know, I know, I haven’t got manly manparts flapping in the breeze to serve as “data”, but I do, for good or ill, have over a decade of plain old life experience with a wide sampling of mostly American women and a modest number of non-American women.  They’ve been conservative, they’ve been liberal, they’ve been white, they’ve been black, they’ve been Latin or Asian from more than one of those nations.  They’ve been respectable and they have been quite unrespectable.  And over and over, they were not making a beeline for promiscuous and/or “bad boys”.

Some did, certainly, and it is very true that some women will always be interested in that kind of guy with no loyalty, honor or often even charm.

Any discussion of how “all chicks dig bad boys” is guilty of extrapolating from a small population out towards all women.  This is called apex fallacy, even though it doesn’t require that the minority slice be at the apex.  Most women don’t want a guy obsessed with getting frisky all the time.  They also don’t want a criminal.  The Wire has many problems as a TV series, but the distinct lack of girl action for most of the low-level male criminals is pretty accurate.  Even most poor women aren’t getting jiggy with bad boys.  People only see the ones that do, but they aren’t a majority or even a plurality.

What is going on is that some personality disordered white women from the professional managerial classes have developed strange and deviant preferences in men, and their weird problem is somehow supposed to be representative of all women.  Nobody thought this way in the past about the small number of poor women with such preferences.

Even with the array of incentives to misbehave in marriage or cohabitation, most women don’t go running for Thuggy McThuggerson.  They still mostly end up with average guys or spend months/years in self-imposed celibacy with long gaps between dates or relationships.  Because normal women aren’t into bad boys and never really will be no matter how galvanically society changes.

Advertisements

21 thoughts on “Most women don’t like bad boys.

  1. But! But! But! Female imperative! ‘Gina tingles! etc. etc.

    I’ve largely tuned out what most of the Boromirosphere* has to say about anything in general and women in particular. There are women who seek out genuinely and objectively good men (I don’t have numbers) but the dork enlightenment types screen them out due to one of their myriad of disqualifications. (Not attractive enough, not young enough, etc. etc.)

    *”Hey lads, let’s use the One Ring to defeat Sauron!”

    Like

    • Where? Where are these women who are seeking out “genuinely and objectively good men”?. And what is a “genuinely and objectively good man”?

      I respectfully disagree that the so-called “dork Enlightenment” types are screening out women. That is not what is happening. Men display, women choose. What is happening, is that women are rejecting men left and right. What is happening is that men are displaying, and the “plane Jane’s” are rejecting them. Women, not men, do the vast, vast majority of rejecting.

      Like

      • You amuse me, Deti, because you troll every website that speaks of intersexual relations. Virtual ranting costs real time, time which you could be spending socializing.

        You speak of “men displaying, women choosing.” Have you yourself ever displayed, or have you ever seen a woman choose (maybe even you?)

        Yes, you will be rejected in life. Take it from someone who voluntarily left his job and seemingly hopeless for five months. If someone won’t take you, MOVE ON until somebody does.

        And Enlightened Dorks ARE rejecting. Why else would we see myriads of posts on the Boromirosphere regarding fat shaming as well as pointing and laughing at women who have made unfortunately ugly aesthetic choices? DE’s do reject, but they do it from the safety of their internet thrones, without having to invest the time or energy in meeting and talking.

        Like

  2. All true in a literal sense, except the language of those claims about bad boys is itself an extrapolation of sorts, perhaps hyperbole driven by emotion, not unlike your remark that you would believe that men prefer a low 1-10 number that is pleasant and available over a high 1-10 shrew, if you saw just one follow through on it. based on a fast scan of your blog, I’m safe assuming that, no…..you are bright enough to not buy into something based on a sample of one. But that’s precisely what you said. If you saw ONE, you are all in, down with my assertion. Your chosen wording is, like men making the claims about bad boys, motivated by something other than being literally accurate.

    So, shall i write a post about The Practical Conservative having an extremely low proof bar? Or, shall I mark it off to hyperbole and even though I disagree because my comment is what you were reacting to, I will assume it would take more than one. Likewise consider that many/most men saying that about bad boys are stating a relative situation, a bad-ER boy. You are refuting hyperbole and ignoring what is being claimed albeit in a tenor of frustration. .

    I have two pieces of data showing how very prone you are to hyperbole. Your retort in response to my comment about men’s preference for lower n women if they are pleasant and available said

    willing to marry an amiable 4

    My comment included

    rather marry a pleasant 5 or 6 who cheerfully engages in and out of the bedroom than a shrew 8 or 9

    The subtle downgrade by n-1 was intentional. Mild targeted hyperbole, To that Id say, actually I agree conceptually. There is a threshold. It may be 4, 5, 6…..but there is a threshold n where the guy prefers the shrew at higher n.

    And there is a threshold where the woman is attracted to a badER boy.

    Like

    • No, they aren’t stating a relative situation. That’s just an excuse you’re making on their behalf. Bros before Brunhildes and all that. I used 4 because the whole 5-6 thing is bad enough, as it implies that such men are so top quality that a 5-6 is lower than they are. By using below average, I was presuming they were average themselves, as this is much more likely than that they are male HB8s who just can’t find a suitable above-average woman to wed.

      I know men married to women less physically attractive than they are. But those men didn’t make an internet career of declaring that they couldn’t marry because there was some shortage of pleasant plain Janes. They, uh, married instead.

      Like

  3. Likewise consider that many/most men saying that about bad boys are stating a relative situation, a bad-ER boy.

    I actually agree with that, as TPC knows. My husband was by some considered a “bad boy” by some. Truth be told Empath from what you’ve shared about yourself online, any number of the same men TPC is writing about would have considered you a “bad boy” in your day. All it would have taken is for some chick to leave one of them for you and…voila! She liked a bad boy better than a good man.

    Hence the inherent problem with the screeching that women like “bad boys”. How exactly do you define that once you eliminate the obvious such as criminal behavior?

    I know men married to women less physically attractive than they are. But those men didn’t make an internet career of declaring that they couldn’t marry because there was some shortage of pleasant plain Janes.

    Yep, mine “married down”, if you will. and if the 1-10 is the be all end all. Even those who claim it isn’t usually turn right around and contradict themselves without even realizing it.

    Like

  4. Studies like this one are practically useless, as useless as trying to extrapolate anything from self-reporting questionnaires among undergraduate students of psychology. Perhaps you would like to consult some more literature on the subject before trumpeting your personal opinions as being true ‘just because’?

    Like

    • This is an example of a better conducted study – using a random sample in a certain cohort, and depends on actual behavior, not only self-reports.

      Examining possible correlation between the lifelong number of criminal offenses and the lifelong number of children of the offender would be a good target, but who would fund such politically incorrect undertaking?

      Like

  5. I must admit, I am flummoxed every time people tell me that women seek out “good guys” and “nice guys” over “bad boys”. Where ARE these vaunted women who are just dying dying dying to meet good men and who turn up their noses at bad boys, thugs, criminals, and jerks? Because I’ve looked for them, and I cannot find them.

    Where are these women? Because truth be told, I spent the better part of 10 years looking for them. And, TPC, I have looked for them everywhere people told me to look. I sought them in college; and was told “eww, we don’t want nice guys”. I sought them in my workplaces, same thing. I even looked for them at church and was rebuffed. It isn’t just me either — I’ve heard and talked to many many men who tell me the exact same thing, same story. Even Christian girls are having sex with bad boys. Even average looking Christian girls are giving it up to bad boys.

    So I’d certainly like to know — where are these Christian women seeking out and specifically looking for good men? I have to admit I’ve met a handful, but they all seem to be female bloggers or female commenters in the Manosphere Ladies Auxiliary. I’ve never met a single one IRL.

    Like

    • Most of the women I’ve known in bohemian and Christian circles are women who don’t like bad boys. It’s the difference between feudal and modern women. Being a modern man rather than a feudal man yourself, that may serve to explain why you haven’t encountered feudal women.

      Like

    • Did they actually SAY “eww, we don’t want nice guys?” or is that something you’re putting in their mouths?

      I don’t think it’s so much that “women don’t want ‘nice’ guys,” it’s that “nice” is practically meaningless. Virtually EVERYONE thinks they are “nice.” Even criminals and narcissists will go on and on about how nice they are, and how underappreciated. It’s the “not-religious-but-spiritual!” equivalent of personality characteristics. It encompasses everything, including some really bad news.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. “Even with the array of incentives to misbehave in marriage or cohabitation, most women don’t go running for Thuggy McThuggerson. They still mostly end up with average guys or spend months/years in self-imposed celibacy with long gaps between dates or relationships.”

    THis is about half correct.

    Most women DO go running to Thuggy in their late teens and through their 20s. If they have long self imposed celibacy periods it is because they are pining for Thuggy or because Thuggy moved on.

    I do agree with the “end up with average guys” part. Mostly, that’s because Thuggy wouldn’t marry them. And from the descriptions I’ve seen, a goodly portion of the women who DO “end up with average guys” gnash their teeth, hate every minute of it, and make their husbands’ lives a living hell until the divorces several years and a couple of kids later. Check Christian divorce rates (nationwide 38%, Roman Catholic 25%).

    From spending time with many of them online, I know that most of the women who comment and blog about these issues were from the very beginnings of their relationships (and still are) extremely sexually attracted to their husbands. Thus, one can’t extrapolate from their positions and descriptions to the population at large.

    Like

    • I comment and blog about this from time to time and I choose not to describe my specific situation, as it is utterly unlike manosphere tropes, which are oriented around describing the behaviors of modern women, and only a subset of modern women at that.

      Like

  7. Let me break it down:

    I go out and see “bad boys” acting their roles and dumb girls following the narrative. Most bad boys are not attractive to me. They seem stupid, wear stupid hats, have some T.V. version of “the man” playing in their head, and generally look like little turds.

    What I’m actually attracted to is intellect, especially creative intellect. It’s hard to discern who has it and who doesn’t. But *as soon as* someone openly displays their intellect, women can’t get enough of it. Hence, that guy usually becomes a bad boy. It’s not the badness factor that I personally find attractive. Some women might actually find badness attractive. It could also be the case that badness signals intelligence somehow.

    Like

  8. its not that women like ‘bad boys’ but MEN who are sure of themselves, since many men today who were raised in broken homes, are unsure of their manhood
    they are either wimpy or thuggish.. and this is from all ethnicities
    men aren’t taking ‘charge’ and women like this, especially when we have a uterus and a menstural cycle

    Like

Comments are closed.