People’s situations are so radically different that the idea that household organization advice for mothers from strangers on the internet can help is part of the problem.
Every mother reading mommyblogs on the internet has the following things in common: we can read English, we have internet access. That’s it. You’ve got a group of women with very, very different situations and needs. Any single piece of advice you can write is either going to be to be obvious – make you sure you feed your kids and dress them appropriately for the weather! – or be inapplicable and even dangerous to some people, even while it’s very helpful to others.
Take “get kids outside every day.” That seems like a great piece of scheduling advice that everyone can use, right? Unless… you live in Plano during one half of the year or Fargo during the other half and have one car, which your husband uses to get to work. There are quite a lot of conservative SAHMs who are literally stuck at home with small children and cannot go outside for months out of the year because the weather is unsafe for very tiny children. The tenor of “get your kids outside” advice flattens the distinction between “uncomfortable” and “unsafe” and it’s being read by young women who didn’t grow up in the region they’ve found themselves in and don’t necessarily know the difference themselves.*
But maybe our imaginary advice reader lives in a walkable neighborhood in a city, and maybe what she’s reading is “seek out likeminded company.” So she ignores the library and community center available to her in preference to taking long busrides to a suburban megachurch (yes people actually do this).
Sibling dynamics, chronotypes, husband likes and dislikes, the floorplan of your house – all of these things make general advice aimed at a woman in a situation where she is the only one responsible for all the childcare, all the housework, and very often the education of the older children impossible. In the decade of mommy-internetting, and in the decades of dead tree mommy-advice that preceded it, the response to people pointing this out has frequently been “well obviously women should use their common sense.”
But young mothers don’t have any common sense! They’re scared and alone and vulnerable, sleep deprived and desperately looking for older women to tell them that they’re doing it right. Advising this group is not like advising other people. Simply sounding confident and being older means that young mothers are likely to believe what you say and that they should apply it.
*I can’t emphasize this point enough – if you didn’t grow up with inclement weather, you don’t know how to handle it. Someone whose husband’s job takes her from California to Minnesota can really use direct handson supervision in getting kids ready for the snow. Someone who grew up in Oregon and now lives in Arizona can really use an older woman reminding her that it really is worth insisting the 5yo keep that hat on. And someone who grew up in a place where it never gets colder than 45 or hotter than 80 can REALLY USE someone telling them the difference between “uncomfortable” and “unsafe,” because it all feels the same to us.