It is clear that a lot of conservatives (though it’s a particularly American malady overall) these days think that childcare is something only a mother can do for her own children and that any other kind of childcare is both morally and psychologically inferior. Needless to say, this flies against all kinds of traditional views on childcare.
We’ve had a lot of teenaged girls babysit our children for anywhere from a few hours to full-time, probably a dozen in the last two years. It was really obvious that some girls had that special talent of being able to handle the needs of six or seven children at one time, even if they didn’t themselves come from a large family. It was also really obvious that other girls could barely manage the needs of one child and were at meltdown mode with just a second one added in.
This happens with mothers too. Most of the time mothers have mother-love for their children, but that’s not the same as having a talent for managing children. In normal societies, there are so many other women around that a mother who has trouble with increasing numbers of children can easily delegate, while women who can seamlessly handle six or eight or ten smoothly can pick up that extra slack for other mothers.
But childcare isn’t something that is bred-in to all women in equal ability if they just try real hard. Some women have a flair for it even if they never have any children of their own, while other women can bear a dozen and never quite get the hang of things.
This is one of the reasons I advocate domestic skills internships for young conservative women interested in marrying young and administering the home as housewives. It’s a good way for women to find out which aspects of domestic living are potential weak spots and make plans to adjust their expectations and goals while they are young and still have a lot of energy to do so.
A mother doesn’t love her child the less because she doesn’t change every single diaper. Specialization is a key part of civilization.