Understand why SAHMs, especially homeschool SAHMs, need socialization

A number of people have noticed that American women work because they can get social interaction and an adult world that way.  Well, without providing that for SAHMs, you end up with feral teens or hypocrites, experts at presenting the front that will keep them unharassed while they go party/drink/drug/etc.  Without being considered part of the adult world, a mother can’t consistently or reliably model wisdom and cleverness for her children and be interesting enough to listen to for a balky teen.  You’re stuck with selection bias, where a few women can make it happen anyway, but the rest cannot because staying home with your kids doesn’t turn your home into Lake Wobegon.

In America, the SAHM is not seen as a real, complete human because the domestic sphere is not seen as part of the real, complete world.  It’s just where your stuff is, not where you live.  But it is part of the world and the damage wrought by pretending otherwise is that women are incomplete and denied the fullness of their nature as wives, mothers, women, children of God, daughters of Our King on High.  And it cascades down like rot through a tree.  SAHMs need to be treated as complete adults with real social needs that are part of them doing their job and part of them fulfilling the completeness of their role within the family.

This would mostly look like encouraging women at home to come together for reasons other than to sell each other stuff or do homeschool co-opping.  And again, due to selection bias, because a few make their social opportunities happen they believe it’s all about an individual’s efforts, which is ridiculously not conservative and also not the point.  Life in community means helping it happen for the shy homemakers too.

Definitely returning to this one.





One thought on “Understand why SAHMs, especially homeschool SAHMs, need socialization

  1. Yes. Patting us on the head for a job well done is nice too. I’ve heard the “but your husband doesn’t get praised”. Yes, yes, he does. A) yes, he gets “thanks for X” all the time and B) he gets $$ in an envelope every two weeks, now doesn’t he? When I worked, I felt praised when the check came in! SAHM, particularly those of very small children, do NOT get praised for their labor. In fact, they’re most likely to spend all day with the ones they work for/with screaming at them about the inadequacy of their service. Then they’re left to find their own praise, and end up on the Compare Yourself With The Perfect Mom cycle of overwork/guilt/despair. I am not advocating paychecks for housewives, that’s a little silly IMO. But acknowledging work for being work… that would be good.


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